The year was 2006. Gas was less than $3 a gallon, people were going to the theater to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (or 4. Maybe 6? Who knows?) and Casino Royale, and Justin Timberlake was bringing sexy back. Over in the Marvel universe, things were decidedly worse. We didn’t quite know it yet, but the Skrulls were about to make their move, Annihilus’ Annihilation Wave was destroying space, the mutants were on the verge of extinction, the Avengers were about to have a Civil War, and a group of smarty-pants know it alls (and Namor) called the Illuminati decided “Hey, the Hulk keeps wrecking stuff, how about we just shoot him off into space?” Tricking Banner into believing he was working for SHIELD, they sent him up into space and then a video recording told Hulk “Hey we are sending you to a nice, quiet planet with plenty of wildlife so you don’t punch us anymore. Good luck!”. Unforunately for everyone, Hulk’s ship didn’t make it to its destination. Instead, he landed on Sakaar, which might as well be called TERROR PLANET. Every freaking thing wants to kill you, and horribly. Over a year, the Hulk turned himself from slave to king, and built a life he could live in happiness. Until everything went wrong again. This is the story of PLANET HULK, and it’s one of the greatest Hulk stories ever told. Written by superstar Hulk scribe Greg Pak with interior art by Aaron Lopresti and Carlo Pagulayan, despite being smack in the middle of one of the most exciting times in Marvel history it stood out among a sea of awesome comics. Picking a top 5 coolest moments was HARD, and you can bet that I’ll be digging out my copies of World War Hulk to revisit that soon.

Without further ado, here are some of the coolest moments from the epic Planet Hulk!

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With Friends Like These…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From the moment the story began, you knew nothing would be ending well. There has been a documented history of people like Tony Stark, Stephen Strange, and Reed Richards trying to help or ‘cure’ the Hulk, and it ALWAYS goes bad. They think they know something that Bruce freaking Banner hasn’t already considered? Fat chance, when it comes to the Hulk. That’s ALL he thinks about.

Before we knew where the Hulk would end up and the trials he would go through there, you knew that at some point he was going to come home to Earth, and boy, oh boy, was he going to be angry. Probably angrier than he’s ever been, and you know what they say about the Hulk, the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets. So, while his revenge isn’t technically part of the Planet Hulk story, you can’t help but feel this inevitable reckoning coming the entire time you read about the nightmares the Hulk is forced to endure. Each time he is stabbed, shot, burned, bitten… every single one just making him angrier, and he is acutely aware who it was that sent him to this horrible place… They shouldn’t have been worried about a Registration Act, they should have been worried about the consequences of their actions streaking across space to put a giant green foot in their asses.

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Hulk: Sakaarian Gladiator

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, Hulk gets to this new planet: Sakaar, and is immediately branded with an Obedience Disk, which causes insane neurological and physical pain with any resistance. It’s even capable of taking the Hulk out (or at least hurting him)! These things are serious business. Captured and enslaved, the Hulk is forced to fight in a gladiator arena (The Maw) with other slaves against all manner of things: other slaves, Death’s Head robots (so cool), giant monsters, you name it.

The thing is, Sakaar has never seen anything like the Hulk. His power, his ferocity, his mere presence are unmatched in the history of the Maw, and Hulk starts to get a following and make a name for himself. Unfortunately, one of the ones noticing him is the spoiled, petulant child-king in charge of the place: The Red King, and he is determined to make things difficult for everyone. He’s a real shit, like a red-skinned Joffrey. For each ‘victory’ Hulk earns in the fights, he is ‘awarded’ with much worse, much more dangerous fights, and there is no end in sight. Even for the Hulk, it’s a lot. Thankfully, he isn’t alone. He’s got his Warbound.

 

Bound by War

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The real heart of the story is the Hulk’s new-found family; his warbound. There is no-name of the Brood, a Brood drone separated from the hivemind. Korg, the stone man who fought Thor waaaaay back in the earliest days of the Marvel U. Miek, a frail looking insectoid who ends up being anything but. Hiroim, a disgraced shadow priest with immense power. Elloe Kaifi was born and raised in a high class, near royalty family on Sakaar, but when her father dared to defy the Red King she was thrown into the Maw as his punishment. The final member is Caiera Oldstrong, who begins the story as the Red King’s Shadow (personal guard) and is actually a match for the Hulk in a fight! Like the shadow priest Hiroim, Caiera is powerful in the Old Power, a power to control earth. These fighters all pledge themselves to the Hulk as his warbound, a bond that is stronger than blood. Through their trials together each of them becomes very, very strong, and while the Hulk would probably have survived things without them, he would not have found a new home, and for the very first time, a family.

It’s the Hulk, so of course it all goes so terribly wrong, but for a while it was beautiful.

 

The Silver… Savage?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When it seems like the Maw has no more surprises for the Hulk and his Warbound, the Red King throws a pretty monumental twist at them: The Silver Freaking Surfer

It seems even the herald of Galactus is not immune to the effects of the Obedience Disks, and the Red King commands the Surfer to kill the Hulk! The Surfer isn’t at his strongest, and tries to fight the commands as much as he can, but even without his heart and full power in it, he’s a real, real, real handful. Using his surfboard as a sheild and armed with a giant spiked mace, the Surfer gives Hulk a good old fashioned ass kicking, until Hulk stabs the obedience disk in the Surfer’s chest, breaking it, and then rages out on the Surfer himself, damn near breaking him. In return, the Surfer, now free, destroys EVERYONE’s obedience disks, freeing all of the slaves, in what is a huge turning point for the story.

The Surfer offers Hulk a way home, but Hulk informs Surfer that he IS home. Free from the Disk in his chest, Hulk and his Warbound get to work tearing down the Red King and his army and remaking Sakaar into a paradise, healing old wounds and creating new friends. Hulk and the Red King’s Shadow, Caiera, fall in love, and she reveals she is pregnant with his child. Everything, finally, FINALLY, is going to go right for the Hulk for a change.

 

Fool Me Once…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until it doesn’t.

The ship the Hulk came to Sakaar on explodes, destroying thousands, including Caiera and her unborn child(ren). A final parting shot from the Illuminati, a way to make sure the Hulk could never come home? That’s what he believes. And it creates and anger that burns a million times hotter than the explosion that took everything from him, took his happiness from him. His love.

Anger doesn’t begin to describe what he is feeling. After the betrayal, being enslaved, being tortured, humiliated, beaten, used, and tested in every way possible, he built something truly wonderous for himself, and They destroyed it. Puny, jealous, stupid humans.

Hulk survived. Hulk’s Warbound survived. And Sakaar has other ships. He will make them pay. He will never stop making them pay. Those calling themselves the Illuminati.

The Hulk was coming home, and bringing war with him.

 

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That’s it for this installment! Be sure to check out some of our other ‘5 Coolest Moments’ lists, such as The Original X-Factor, the Midnight Sons, the Age of Apocalypse, The Death and Return of Superman, the Infinity Gauntlet, and you can read our 2-parter on Marvel’s Civil War here and here!