WTF Moments 48

So there’s this dogshit Spider-Man story that came about towards the end of the J Michael Straczynski run (and no, I’m not talking about Sins Past or One More Day… damn, JMS had his name on THREE of the worst Spidey stories ever. I just realized that). In it, Morlun, a member of a race called the Inheritors that travels across realities devouring the life energies of ‘totem’ powered superhumans (people who are animal themed, basically). Peter beat him once before by the very skin of his teeth, so when Morlun shows up it’s a big deal. They get in a big fight and it’s going horribly for Spidey, and suddenly gets much worse when Morlun plucks his EYE OUT OF HIS HEAD AND THEN EATS IT.

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Then he beats Spider-Man to the edge of death, he nearly dies in the hospital from his injuries, eventually wraps himself in a web cocoon, and emerges with new powers. Including giant ‘stingers’ that come out of his wrists. Y’know, like spiders!

This story is such a terrible, ridiculous mess. It doesn’t get nearly the attention its shit-tastic quality would normally demand because of the aforementioned Sins Past, in which it was revealed the sweet, innocent ‘girl next door’ Gwen Stacy had actually been sleeping with Norman Osborn, the Green fucking Goblin, got pregnant, left the country, had twins, and this is why the Green Goblin decided to kill her all of those years ago; and One More Day, in which Peter and Mary Jane sacrifice their marriage (somehow) to the fucking devil to save an 80+ year old Aunt May from a gunshot wound.

Both of those sound pretty awful, right? So people tend to kind of forget that the page above happened, and that THIS happened:

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Web shooter were replaced with organic webs, the ‘totem’ connection was made stronger than ever, exactly how Spidey was able to regrow an eyeball and heal from his injuries was never revealed, and we got the oh-so-classic, never ever to be forgotten or thrown away, genius idea spider-stingers!

even-spider-man-himself-has-been-surprised-by-some-of-his-transformationsEven Spidey knows those things are fucking disgusting, have nothing to do with spiders, and, oh yeah, are fucking disgusting.

Spider-Man: The Other. Pfft. What the fuck.

 

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5 Coolest Things From… Original X-Factor

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Man, did I love this book. As a huge fan of the X-Men, and the original five in particular, this was probably my favorite title growing up and I combed through every long box at every comic store, antique store, yard sale, flea market, convention, etc I could find until I had every issue. The original X-Men reunite when Jean Grey is discovered alive, but they’ve all been apart and changed so much since her ‘death’ that at first they’re like a square peg in a round hole, but over time they start to gel and help each other through some of the hardest times each of them have ever had, bonding more as a family than ever before, and oh yeah, saving all of our collective asses from Apocalypse and the like. The original team stayed together, more or less, in this incarnation for 70 issues. In that time there are a TON of awesome, memorable moments, many of which are cemented as part of X-Men, and Marvel, lore. So narrowing it down to five was pretty hard. I’ll probably do another five down the line, because there are so damn many!

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, my five coolest moments from the first 70 issues of volume 1 of X-Factor:

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Top 100 Heroes 80-71

greatest-superheroes2

The age old questions of comic fans: Batman or Superman? Spider-Man or Wolverine? The debates about the best heroes are endless. We tried to make a top 10 list, but that was just too hard. So we tried a top 25, but that quickly became a top 50… you get the idea. So we were able to ‘narrow’ it down to an even 100. Odds are you will vehemently disagree with who did or did not make the list, or just the order that we placed them. But, hey, it’s our list.

(Honorable mentions to Beta Ray Bill, USAgent, Martian Manhunter, Kid Flash, Hercules, The Frenchman and the Female (the Boys), Abe Sapien, Spider-Man 2099, Static Shock, Nite Owl, Guy Gardner, Booster Gold, Spawn, Atom Eve, Mary Marvel, and a hell of a lot more. So many more we could- and may- do another whole 100 list!)

We will release these in installments of 10 so that you don’t have the longest list ever to read through. Agree with the placement or who made the list? Disagree with the burning power of a thousand suns? Let us know! Enjoy!

 

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Top 100 Heroes 90-81

greatest-superheroes2

The age old questions of comic fans: Batman or Superman? Spider-Man or Wolverine? The debates about the best heroes are endless. We tried to make a top 10 list, but that was just too hard. So we tried a top 25, but that quickly became a top 50… you get the idea. So we were able to ‘narrow’ it down to an even 100. Odds are you will vehemently disagree with who did or did not make the list, or just the order that we placed them. But, hey, it’s our list.

(Honorable mentions to Beta Ray Bill, USAgent, Martian Manhunter, Kid Flash, Hercules, The Frenchman and the Female (the Boys), Abe Sapien, Spider-Man 2099, Static Shock, Nite Owl, Guy Gardner, Booster Gold, Spawn, Atom Eve, Mary Marvel, and a hell of a lot more. So many more we could- and may- do another whole 100 list!)

We will release these in installments of 10 so that you don’t have the longest list ever to read through. Agree with the placement or who made the list? Disagree with the burning power of a thousand suns? Let us know! Enjoy!

 

Continue reading