The all-new Comic Zombie podcast is out now!
In their first episode: “Holy Bad-Movies, Batman!” – Chris Carroll and Erik Slader endure 8 hours of Batman films (two of which were good) so that you don’t have to!
Will they decipher the plot of “Batman Returns”?
Will they solve the Riddler’s ‘e.nigmas’?
Will they survive “Batman and Robin”?!
Find out here, this Bat-time, this Bat-channel!
(Also, be sure to check out Issue Zero: This Time, it’s personal!)
We did it! We made it! I was worried for a second…
In Part One – we covered Batman ’66, Batman ’89, and Tim Burton’s Batman Returns…
Then in Part Two – we tore apart Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever and the god awful Batman and Robin…
Now it’s time to review Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy!
Batman Begins (2005)
Directed By: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale (Batman), Liam Neeson (Ra’s Al Ghul), Cillian Murphy (Scarecrow), Ken Watanabe (fake Ra’s), Katie Holmes (Rachel Dawes), Michael Caine (Alfred), Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox), Gary Oldman (Jim Gordon), Tom Wilkinson (Carmine Falcone), Rutger Hauer (Mr. Earle)
Batmobile:
Plot: A true origin story following Bruce’s life periodically from the murder of his parents to his travels around the world making himself into Batman, one step at a time. He becomes a member of, and eventually turns against, the League of Shadows, who come to Gotham to get their revenge and destroy the city. As Batman, he must face the Falcone mafia, the Scarecrow, and Ra’s Al Ghul, while trying to rekindle his relationship with childhood friend turned assistant district attorney Rachel Dawes, establishing a relationship with Jim Gordon (one of the only honest cops in Gotham), and working to get his company back from Mr. Earle.
Last time, in Part One: we covered Batman ’66, Batman ’89, and Batman Returns, now for our descent into Hell…
Batman Forever (1995)
Directed By: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Val Kilmer (Batman), Chris O’Donnell (Robin), Jim Carrey (Riddler), Tommy Lee Jones (Two-Face), Nicole Kidman (Dr. Chase Meridian), Michael Gough (Alfred)
Batmobile:
Plot: Batman and his new sidekick Robin must face the combined forces of Two-Face (former district attorney Harvey Dent, who blames Batman for the courtroom incident that scarred his face) and the Riddler (Edward Nygma, a former employee of Bruce Wayne seeking revenge for being justifiably fired), and their device that is going to steal all of the information from all of the brains in Gotham. Or some stupid crap.
Batman has had a number of incarnations over the 75 years he’s been around, and many of them have been captured on film in the last 50 years. Depending on which movie you watch, he can be either part of the campy, ridiculous dynamic duo to the dark, brooding, badass dark knight. Depending on which version you prefer you can find at least one film that is to your tastes and is a totally valid interpretation of the character. Unless you like Batman and Robin, in which case go fuck yourself.
Erik and I will break down each of the Batman’s feature films, beginning with the 1966 adaptation of the television show and ending with Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Rises, and will attempt to convey what is good and bad about each, and which ones we liked (Batman), loved (Dark Knight) and straight up went into murderous hatred over (Batman & Robin).
Animated features were left out this time, as there are so many we feel like they deserve their own article.
Batman: The Movie (1966)
There’s no getting around it: there have been a ton of truly awful superhero/comic book adaptations. I’m looking at you, Punisher. There are a lot that were made for next to no money, and were made only so that a company could hold onto film rights, like the 1994 version of Fantastic Four, or the Captain America movies that starred J.D. Salinger’s son as Cap, had an Italian Red Skull, and Cap’s ears on the side of his mask were rubber. Rubber! There are also some that are really bad adaptations, but not terrible movies, like Constantine. But for the purposes of this list I am looking at the comic book movies that were made by big studios for at least reasonably large budgets. So you won’t see Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four on my list. Also, I haven’t seen the Halle Berry Catwoman, so that won’t be making the list. However, you will see….
5. Superman Returns
What We Wanted to See: A movie that reinvigorated the franchise and moved Superman into the 21st century
What We Got: A sequel/prequel that satisfied nobody
There are no words other than: “WHAT THE FUCK?”
Comic Zombie 