I know your budget was like $3.57, but THIS is the best you could do?
There was a time at the turn of the century when Marvel just didn’t know what to do with the Punisher.
The most straight forward, uncomplicated character they have, and they couldn’t figure it out. So what did they do? They killed him, had angels resurrect him with demon sight (he could see demons) and sprit guns that could kill said demons.
This actually happened.
What the fuck?
Probably the biggest WTF?! moment of the last 15 years from the big 2:
So Spidey is frantically trying to save his Aunt May from a gunshot wound, and aaallll of the baddest badass scientists in the Marvel Universe, from guys like Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic, Dr. Strange, etc to maniacs like Dr. Doom and Dr. Octopus, are all like “she’s old, AND got shot? Wow, that’s beyond me, sorry, can’t help you. Now to invent some crazy shit that tears dimensional walls/travels through time/turns regular people into superhumans/steals memories/whatever”.
So then the ‘devil’, Mephisto, shows up and is like “I’ll help her, but in return I want your marriage, because….. well…. um… because the story demands that’s what I want so Spider-Man can be young and single again”.
What the fuck?
The story was so bad that the writer, J Michael Straczinski, dropped off of the book and asked that his name be removed from the story.
‘The cat’s meow’? ‘Kryptonite catnip’???
What in the actual fuck is happening??
And to the limey going “Ow’d ‘e shake off the effect of the gas? It’s supposed to work for hours! Pip pip cheerio!” , I’d say whatever the hell kind of gas you gave ol’ Supes is working pretty damn well. Maybe not he way you intended, but it has him wearing a shitty cat outfit, somehow ‘Spider-Man’ing a pole, and playing what looks like the ukulele for a live audience while making (and I’m putting this kindly) a humungous asshole out of himself. Lex Luthor would be proud, but he topped you by stealing 40 cakes.
What the fuck…?
I have so many questions!
First of all, Satan is a tiny, winged, genital-less, cape sporting red guy that likes to jump through people’s windows to scare them? And people are apparently so used to this, or so generally jaded overall, that the reaction this chick has isn’t even “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM!?” but a nonchalant “So?”
Second, why is he announcing himself like he’s Mario? “It’s me… Satan!” Who talks like that? Maybe it’s that kind of grammar, and a lack of pants, that force him to enter people’s homes through windows instead of through the door like a normal embodiment of evil.
Third, what is she reading? The front cover is just plain white with an off-center “Who Cares?” and the back cover is more white with off center “Who Dun It?” Shouldn’t those at least be reversed?
Fourth, “HOOOYAAARGH!!!”? What the shit is that?