WTF Moments 24

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Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Batman Jones.

As a baby, he was saved by Batman, so his parents named him… Batman. Way to go, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

So this doofy kid grew up introducing himself as “Batman Jones”, and when he got older he decided he wanted to be a crime fighter, just like his namesake.

Hahaha what in the fuck?

I wish- SO BADLY- that like Grant Morrison had brought him back and treated it seriously. He would have been horribly murdered like immediately.

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WTF Moments 22

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HAHAHAHAHA What the hell is this?!?!

It’s not just that he has all of these ridiculously colored costumes, or that he even wears them, but that “(He) MUST!”

Seriously, what in the fuck is this? I can’t wrap my head around why he would have them, or why he would need to wear them. It’s even weirder than Bat-Mite, the giant Batman genie, or any of the other crazy shit from that time.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE NEED A PINK BATMAN SUIT?

6 Terrible Superman Movies That You Won’t Believe Almost Happened!

In a world where a Comic-Book-based-Super-Hero-franchises are guaranteed blockbusters, with films like “The Dark Knight”, or “The Avengers” raking in over a billion effin’ dollars in real-life (non-Monopoly) money, it’s a little disconcerting that Superman (the original super hero – circa 1938) only recently got a decent film (with the exception of the 1978 classic) – with last year’s “Man of Steel” – a total reboot (starring Henry Cavill) from the dude who brought us that CGI-fest loosely based on the Battle of Thermopylae (Zack Snyder).

"Man of Steel" (2013)

Suffice it to say Superman movies until know have gotten a bad rep. With the exception of most of the animated movies, Superman movies have had a tendency to suck like a Hoover vacuum cleaner in a black hole. And why is that you ask? Well, although it is challenging to do a Superman movie justice (pun-intended), the reason they keep failing has nothing to do with the character (s) / story / mythology seeing as so many other super-powered champions have followed in his boot-prints since over the last 75 years of comic history, and most of them have ripped off of Superman in one or several ways with unique twists (i.e. Batman, Spider-man, Iron Man, etc).

Some say it’s a curse, others say it’s his cheesy old-fashioned sense of morality, while angry Internet trolls pollute message boards arguing about his trademark red super-speedos, but I say it’s the result of lazy writing, greedy producers who don’t understand the character, and directors who are unwilling to delve into the actual source material. The result: 30 + years of Gene Hackman’s “Lex Luthor” as an evil real estate agent.

Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor in Superman II

Out of all the terrible Superman movies we’ve had to endure over the last couple decades, here are 5 that we should be thankful never made it to the silver screen, because they somehow managed to be even worse than what actually did make it to a theater near you. It’s unbelievable how bad these scripts were and unfathomable that they made it so far into production…

(Barf bags at the ready?)

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Comiczombie’s Top 5 (Bottom?) Worst Comic Book Movies

There’s no getting around it: there have been a ton of truly awful superhero/comic book adaptations. I’m looking at you, Punisher. There are a lot that were made for next to no money, and were made only so that a company could hold onto film rights, like the 1994 version of Fantastic Four, or the Captain America movies that starred J.D. Salinger’s son as Cap, had an Italian Red Skull, and Cap’s ears on the side of his mask were rubber. Rubber! There are also some that are really bad adaptations, but not terrible movies, like Constantine. But for the purposes of this list I am looking at the comic book movies that were made by big studios for at least reasonably large budgets. So you won’t see Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four on my list. Also, I haven’t seen the Halle Berry Catwoman, so that won’t be making the list. However, you will see….

5. Superman Returns

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What We Wanted to See: A movie that reinvigorated the franchise and moved Superman into the 21st century

What We Got: A sequel/prequel that satisfied nobody

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Erik Smash!’s Top 5 (Bottom?) Worst Comic Book Movies

5. HULK (not to be confused with ‘The INCREDIBLE Hulk’)

What we wanted to see: HULK SMASH!

What we got: HULK Sad…?

This movie could’ve been awesome. The teaser trailer blew me away! However, the director (Ang Lee) and the studio (Universal) both wanted something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from this film, and what we got was mismatched disaster 😦

Spoiler Alert – Issue One: 7 Awesome Changes to the DC Universe (part 4)

Continued from Part 3: Leagues, Titans, and Guardians (oh my!)

#4 – “Holy Bat-Comics, BATMAN!”

In the New-52 there are a total of 16 current Bat-related titles, 6 of which actually star the Dark Knight himself, and in 4 of those he’s the leading man (3 of which are solo missions), and best of all, every single one of them is top-notch… as it should be! Batman is simply a great character in every sense, created by the legendary Bob Kane, but it’s astounding, after all this time, how these writers still manage to come up with new and different takes on all his villains, various allies, and numerous adventures, without constantly re-hashing the same damn stuff!

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