WTF Moments 46

Posted by comiczombie on

Maximum-Carnage-286

So Maximum Carnage is drawing to what promises to be an epic conclusion. Spider-Man and his numerous allies have been run ragged fighting Carnage and his band of murdering psychopaths for days, and the final confrontation is drawing to a close. How are the good guys possibly going to stop this maniac from continuing to slaughter the citizens of New York? Will Firestar use her flame powers to kill Carnage? Will Cloak and Dagger do something awesome to get back at the bad guys for what they’ve been through? Will Captain America or Iron Fist or Deathlok pull something out of their hat at the last second? Or will Venom or Spider-Man overwhelm Carnage with the pure rage and frustrations they’ve been under?

Nope. Love ray.

…What the fuck?

The heroes get a gun that was designed at Rand Industries that literally overwhelms the hatred the bad guys feel with love and compassion. It drives them crazy and makes them see the horror they’ve caused. They feel bad and surrender (except Carnage, but it hits him right in the feels, too). I can’t make this up. I would never make something so stupid up.

What a fucking stupid idea. What the fuck.

The X-MEN movies

Posted by ErikSlader on

Check out our Podcast Episode where we rank the X-Men movies here!

The X-Men movies timeline

There was a long period of time where the only super hero movies we had were the Christopher Reeve Superman films, which (as we discussed HERE), had their considerable ups and downs (mostly downs), and the Batman franchise (which we discussed HERE, HERE, and HERE), but this was before the excellent Christopher Nolan reboot, so it was also mostly bad.

X-Men teaser posterThen the late 90’s hit and Marvel (with New Line Cinema) had a surprise hit on their hands with Blade, and all of a sudden it felt like there might be a chance we’d get some more. That’s when Fox dropped a bombshell and announced they were going to finally, FINALLY, release a live action X-Men film!

Say what you want about the first movie, and we will, but it really opened the floodgates for the huge wave of superhero films (that mostly sucked) for the early 21st century. For better or worse we probably wouldn’t have the Spider-man movies without this one!

Fifteen years later, and the franchise has had its ups and downs (notice a trend?), but found its footing again with X-Men: First Class and Days of Future Past. Now, with X-Men: Apocalypse, Deadpool, and a third Wolverine film looming, the franchise appears to be in as good a shape as it has ever been.

But how did they get here?

Continue reading →

Top 20 Walking Dead Characters

Posted by comiczombie on

TheWalkingDeadEnsemble

The Walking Dead is a phenomenon. The AMC television show is a juggernaut, and seemingly gets better and better as it goes on. The comic book has been around for more than ten years (!!) and shows no signs of slowing down. There are video games, mobile apps, and merchandise, merchandise, merchandise as far as the eye can see.

Why is it so universally beloved? It’s not the zombies, although they are always awesome. It’s the characters. Whether the originals from the comic, or their counterparts on the tv show, or the new characters created for said tv show or any of the video games, the Walking Dead delivers interesting, relatable characters you love to love and hate.

Spoilers ahead!

Continue reading →

The Superman Movies! (part four)

Posted by ErikSlader on

Previously on All UR Movies Are Belong to Us, we tore into the Christopher Reeve Superman movies (and then briefly skimmed over Supergirl and Steel), this time we’re looking at the last two outings of the Last Son of Krypton… which could not be more tonally different!

Superman Returns - poster with Lois

SUPERMAN RETURNS

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Starring: Brandon Routh (Clark Kent / Kal-El / Superman), Kate Bosworth (Lois Lane), Kevin Spacey (Lex Luthor), James Marsden (Richard White), Parker Posey (Kitty Kowalski), Frank Langella (Perry White), Sam Huntington (Jimmy Olsen), Eva Marie Saint (Martha Kent), Kal Penn (Henchman #2), and Marlon Brando (space dad hologram).

Plot: Nothing happens for the first 90% of the movie, and then for the last 10% the stakes are finally raised to EVEN MORE nothing happening. Also, Superman is a deadbeat dad who spies on Lois Lane constantly, never punches anything, and has a dorky bastard kid with superpowers and a terrible haircut. Speaking of terrible haircuts, Lex Luthor is back at it again with another ridiculous scheme involving real estate!

Comic Zombie: Superman Returns is the exhibit A some people point to when they say that superhero movies shouldn’t be made by fanboys (to which I counter with The Avengers). It seemed like a no-brainer: Brian Singer had just made two very successful X-Men movies, it has a solid cast (on paper), a huge budget, and was a do-over for parts 3 and 4, which this film pretends never happened. Just like the rest of us.

I mean, nothing could go wrong this time around, right? Right??!!

WRONG! - Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey)

Continue reading →

WTF Moments 44

Posted by comiczombie on

105767

There was a time at the turn of the century when Marvel just didn’t know what to do with the Punisher.

The most straight forward, uncomplicated character they have, and they couldn’t figure it out. So what did they do? They killed him, had angels resurrect him with demon sight (he could see demons) and sprit guns that could kill said demons.

This actually happened.

What the fuck?

The Superman Movies! (part 3)

Posted by comiczombie on

Previously on “All Ur Movies Are Belong To Us!”…

The Superman Movies: Part One (Superman: The Movie, Superman II – both versions)

The Superman Movies: Part Two (Superman III, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace)

Supergirl2

Supergirl (1984)

Directed By: Jeannot Szwarc

Starring: Helen Slater (Supergirl), Faye Dunaway (Selena), Peter O’Toole (Zaltar), Hart Bochner (Ethan), Mia Farrow (Alura), Brenda Vaccaro (Bianca), Peter Cook (Nigel), Simon Ward (Zor-El), Marc McClure (Jimmy Olsen), Maureen Teefy (Lucy Lane)

Plot: Supergirl does stuff and… it’s just so bad. I can’t.

Continue reading →

The Superman Movies! (part two)

Posted by ErikSlader on

We discussed the surprisingly solid “Superman: The Movie” and it’s inferior sequel, Richard Lester’s “Superman 2” (and it’s much, much better alternate Richard Donner cut) here in Part One. I suggest reading that before diving into hell here, if for no other reason than to remind yourself that Superman movies can be fun, if not outright good, because these two train wrecks will do everything they can to prove that statement wrong…

Superman III

Superman III (1983)

Directed by: Richard Lester

Starring: Christopher Reeve (Clark Kent /  Kal-El / Superman / Evil Superman?), Richard Pryor?! (Gus Gorman / low-budget Brainiac?), Annette O’Toole (Lana Lang), Robert Vaughn (Lex Luthor Ross Webster), Jackie Cooper (Perry White), Marc McClure (Jimmy Olsen), and Margot Kidder (Lois Lane – cameo).

Plot: Webscoe (really?) CEO, Ross “I’m not Lex Luthor!” Webster, blackmails Gus “I’m Richard Pryor!” Gorman to help him use his computer to take over the world or some stupid shit that’s not worth mentioning, and to use a “weather satellite” to somehow (?) decimate the coffee crops in Colombia so he can monopolize the coffee market… (I promise, I’m not making this up.) Superman reunites with his ex-girlfriend Lana Lang while on a trip home to Smallville, and while there is exposed to a weird off-brand form of Kryptonite that makes him a huge asshole, going around straightening the leaning tower of Pisa and blowing out the Olympic flame (what a dick) before going on a drinking binge (what?). Superman splits into two personas: Dickhead Superman and Morally Righteous Clark Kent. Mr. Moral beats Mr. Dick. The regular Superman is back, and beats the bad guys. Audiences wiped away the blood coming from their noses.

Continue reading →

X-Men Crossovers Part 9

Posted by comiczombie on

imagesXQM828OA

Messiah Complex

Took Place In: Messiah Complex 1, Uncanny X-Men 492-494, X-Factor 25-27, New X-Men 44-46, X-Men 205-207

Written By: Ed Brubaker (Messiah Complex, Uncanny X-Men), Mike Carey (X-Men), Peter David (X-Factor), Craig Kyle and Chris Yost (New X-Men)

Art By: Marc Silvestri (Messiah Complex), Billy Tan (Uncanny X-Men), Scott Eaton (X-Factor), Humberto Ramos (New X-Men), Chris Bachalo (X-Men)

Characters Involved: Cyclops, Emma Frost, Archangel, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Storm, Beast, Bishop, Caliban, Hepzibah, Rogue, Professor X, Warpath, Wolverine (X-Men), Multiple Man, Layla Miller, M, Rictor, Siryn, Strong Guy, Wolfsbane (X-Factor), Anole, Armor, Dust, Elixir, Gentle, Hellion, Indra, Mercury, Pixie, Prodigy, Rockslide, Stepford Cuckoos, Surge, Trance, Wolf Cub, X-23 (New X-Men), Arclight, Blockbuster, Gambit, Harpoon, Lady Mastermind, Mystique, Omega Sentinel, Prism, Riptide, Scalphunter, Sunfire, Scrambler, Vertigo (Marauders), Exodus, Frenzy, Gargouille, Neophyte, Projector, Random, Tempo, Unuscione, Vindaloo, Amelia Vought (Acolytes), Sinister, Predator X, Reverand Rissman, Purifiers, Lady Deathstrike, Reavers, Hope Summers, Cable, Forge

Story: This story, the first inter-title crossover from the X books in years, spins out of the events of the House of M storyline, in which the Scarlet Witch uses her reality warping abilities to de-power 98% of the mutant population.

Continue reading →

WTF Moments 43

Posted by comiczombie on

another-one-where-superman-denies-people-water-comic-book-series-photo-u1

“Please, Superman, we’re dying! Even a little bit of water in this dirty can of dog food!”

“Nope.”

“Superman, it’s me, Lois! I love you! You’re letting us die of thirst! There’s literally water right behind you!”

“Nope. Nobody gets a drop. I’m a hero.”

What the fuck, Superman?