….
………..The legion of super pets? THE LEGION OF SUPER PETS?!?
….
What the fuck.
Just in case you needed any more reasons to think the Legion of Super Heroes suck ass, they make a bunch of flying, cape wearing PETS the ‘animal branch of our super club!’
Sigh.
“I have feasted on the nectars of the wild fruit in the land of the Norns.
I have dined in the exalted halls of the Godly Realms.
This day, I am offered a creamsicle.”
What the fuck, guys, seriously? A creamsicle? Look at Thor’s face, he knows how shafted he just got.
The next page is probably like “And with that, Thor departed Midgard, returning only to raze it to ashes and spread salt across the planet, so nothing could grow evermore. Alas, the mortals should not have e’er bequeathed a craemsicle upon him.”
The DC Comics of the Silver Age were full of wacky shit, as we have seen more than a few times with Batman and Superman WTF Moments in the past. But in this Flash comic things get really weird when Flash is hit with a gun that fires radiation that ’causes the body to absorb moisture from the air at an incredible rate, and swells its victim like a balloon!’
The result: Fat Flash
Jabba’s Flash cosplay
What. The. Fuck.
There is something so unsettling about this image, and yet… something familiar….
Worst homage ever!
What the…..
This is the most unsettling thing I’ve seen since… hell, since Batman & Robin.
There is so much wrong here. I think the thing that gets me the most is that Cap is wearing his uniform, complete with chain mail top, underneath his dress. So he’s this ‘old lady’ with a huge upper body. And Bucky looks like he’s off to be the mascot at a pedophile convention.
What the fuck?
Green Lantern’s ring is the most powerful weapon in the DC Universe, capable of doing anything its wearer can imagine and will into being.
I had no idea it could also transform the wearer into an envelope.
….
AN ENVELOPE.
THAT PUNCHES PEOPLE.
I just can’t.
WHAT?!?!
OK, so I know a lot of these have been from Silver Age Superman, but I make no apologies, because here we see that Superman has developed a new power:
HE CAN CREATE A TINY VERSION OF HIMSELF THAT HE SHOOTS FROM HIS HANDS.
……
……….
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
And…. wait…. do you see that building in the background? I think the text on it is supposed to be a news ticker, like they used to have in Times Square, but it looks like it’s just on the building… wouldn’t it be amazing if it was like the name of the company?
“Giant Guided Missile Plummeting Towards Eiffel Tower Cupcakes, Inc”
I love how it’s a ‘giant’ guided missile. And why is it plummeting? If it’s a missile it shouldn’t plummet, especially if it’s guided…
What in the fuck?
I love Lois reaction:
“Oh no… NO! You’ve become a BEAST!”
I also love how he is more worried about her going to a play (a PLAY!?!) with him than the fact that he’s turned into a goddamn lion, but hey, who am I to judge?
And what is Jimmy doing? Oh, I’m sorry, Jim, is the fact that I’ve turned into a FUCKING LION boring you?!?! Here, give me your signal watch. I’m going to beat you to death with it.
The Age of Apocalypse
Took Place In: Age of Apocalypse Alpha, Omega, Amazing X-Men 1-4, Astonishing X-Men 1-4, X-Calibre 1-4, Weapon X 1-4, Gambit & the X-Ternals 1-4, Factor X 1-4, X-Man 1-4, X-Universe 1-2, Generation Next 1-4
Written By: Scott Lobdell (Alpha, Omega, Astonishing X-Men, Generation Next), Mark Waid (Alpha, Omega), Fabian Nicieza (Amazing X-Men, Gambit and the X-Ternals), Larry Hama (Weapon X), John Francis Moore (Factor X), Warren Ellis (X-Calibre), Jeph Loeb (X-Man)
Art By: Andy Kubert (Amazing X-Men), Roger Cruz (Alpha, Omega), Steve Epting (Alpha, Factor X), Joe Madureira (Astonishing X-Men), Dan Green (Weapon X), Adam Kubert (Weapon X), Karl Kessel (Weapon X), Ken Lashley (X-Calibre), Tony Daniel (Gambit and the X-Ternals), Steve Skroce (X-Man), Chris Bachalo (Generation Next)
Characters Involved: Magneto, Rogue, Quicksilver, Storm, Exodus, Banshee, Iceman, Morph, Sabretooth, Wild Child, Sunfire, Dazzler, Nightcrawler (X-Men), Colossus, Shadowcat, Husk, Chamber, Vincente, Skin, Mondo (Generation Next), Gambit, Sunspot, Lila Cheney, Jubilee, Strong Guy (X-Ternals), Cyclops, Havok, Beast, Cannonball, Bedlam Brothers (Factor X), Forge, X-Man, Sauron, Toad, Mastermind (X-Man), Sinister, Holocaust, Abyss, Mikhail Rasputin (Horsemen), Apocalypse
Story: Hoo boy. I briefly touched on this huge story here, but let’s get into more detail. When Marvel announced that they were cancelling every book in the X-Men line, fans went apeshit. And when they announced they were relaunching them with all new #1 issues, retailers went apeshit (in a good way). Fans were backlashing something fierce, but then this trickle of teases came out, including a book that showed all of the new character designs, and all of a sudden people weren’t upset. In fact, they were really, really excited.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Batman Jones.
As a baby, he was saved by Batman, so his parents named him… Batman. Way to go, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.
So this doofy kid grew up introducing himself as “Batman Jones”, and when he got older he decided he wanted to be a crime fighter, just like his namesake.
Hahaha what in the fuck?
I wish- SO BADLY- that like Grant Morrison had brought him back and treated it seriously. He would have been horribly murdered like immediately.
In part 1 I covered the horribly underrated Avengers run by Geoff Johns, and in part 2 I covered Ed Brubaker’s fantastic run on Daredevil.
Today I am going to briefly go over a run that really went under the radar, and it’s too bad because it was awesome, and that’s Rick Remender’s Venom.
Flash Thompson: Venom
While he gained popularity with runs on books like Uncanny X-Force (so good), Secret Avengers (soo good), and more recently Uncanny Avengers (sooooo good), Remender really got my attention with Venom.
Starting in the 90’s, Venom’s popularity rivaled even Spider-Man’s. So Marvel took him from being a scary ass villain and made him a watered down anti-hero. It sold a lot of books, but it took the character’s direction away from him for years and years. Then Mark Millar gave the Venom symbiote to Mac Gargan, the former Scorpion, in his awesome “Marvel Knights Spider-Man” (which I need to go over one day soon). This was a nice change, and it looked like the character was going to be revitalized, but then he got stuck as a bit player in Warren Ellis’ Thunderbolts and Brian Bendis’ Dark Avengers, and nothing of note was ever really done with him.
Comic Zombie 