Hahaha what the fuck?
The DC Comics of the Silver Age were full of wacky shit, as we have seen more than a few times with Batman and Superman WTF Moments in the past. But in this Flash comic things get really weird when Flash is hit with a gun that fires radiation that ’causes the body to absorb moisture from the air at an incredible rate, and swells its victim like a balloon!’
The result: Fat Flash
What. The. Fuck.
There is something so unsettling about this image, and yet… something familiar….
OK, so I know a lot of these have been from Silver Age Superman, but I make no apologies, because here we see that Superman has developed a new power:
HE CAN CREATE A TINY VERSION OF HIMSELF THAT HE SHOOTS FROM HIS HANDS.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
And…. wait…. do you see that building in the background? I think the text on it is supposed to be a news ticker, like they used to have in Times Square, but it looks like it’s just on the building… wouldn’t it be amazing if it was like the name of the company?
“Giant Guided Missile Plummeting Towards Eiffel Tower Cupcakes, Inc”
I love how it’s a ‘giant’ guided missile. And why is it plummeting? If it’s a missile it shouldn’t plummet, especially if it’s guided…
What in the fuck?
I love Lois reaction:
“Oh no… NO! You’ve become a BEAST!”
I also love how he is more worried about her going to a play (a PLAY!?!) with him than the fact that he’s turned into a goddamn lion, but hey, who am I to judge?
And what is Jimmy doing? Oh, I’m sorry, Jim, is the fact that I’ve turned into a FUCKING LION boring you?!?! Here, give me your signal watch. I’m going to beat you to death with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Batman Jones.
As a baby, he was saved by Batman, so his parents named him… Batman. Way to go, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.
So this doofy kid grew up introducing himself as “Batman Jones”, and when he got older he decided he wanted to be a crime fighter, just like his namesake.
Hahaha what in the fuck?
I wish- SO BADLY- that like Grant Morrison had brought him back and treated it seriously. He would have been horribly murdered like immediately.