What the….?
I have so many questions! Why is Jimmy Olsen dressed like Tarzan? Why is Superman a ‘local witch doctor’? How did he become a ‘local witch doctor’? Does it matter that he’s local? What is he brewing? Why is he making Jimmy marry a really pissed off looking ape? Why is the ape so pissed off? What the hell is that headdress Superman is wearing?
Just what in the fuck is going on here?!?!
One thing super hero comics seem to do very well is to depict alternate realities and alternate versions of their characters. Wonder what would happen if the X-Men failed to stop the advancement of Sentinel technology, or if Apocalypse succeeded in taking over the world? There are stories you can read for that. Want to know one of the possible futures for the Hulk, or Superman? There’s stories for that, too. Dating back to X-Men: Days of Future Past (which even predates the Terminator films!), comics have continuously used the possible future outcomes as a way of depicting the stakes for our heroes if they lose, and as a way to show how one change in the timeline, no matter how seemingly small, can cause massive ripples in what we think of as reality.
They are also used as a way to show your favorite characters in new situations and surroundings without messing with the core character and material, a la the Age of Apocalypse.
Here are my picks for the 15 best alternate realities/timelines from Marvel and DC comics:
15. Teen Titans: The Future Is Now
Geoff Johns is the most accomplished, and probably most popular, writer for DC Comics. He is well known for titles like Action Comics, the Flash, Green Lantern, JLA, JSA, 52, Infinite Crisis, Forever Evil, and Flashpoint. But the title that typically slips between the cracks is his awesome run on Teen Titans, and the best arc was “The Future is Now”.
After teaming up with the Legion of Super Heroes, the Titans are trying to get back to their own time, but arrive a few years later than they would have liked. They try to go back to their HQ, but are surprised to find that it is occupied by the Justice League, which is made up of adult versions of themselves!
I don’t… no. Just… Just no.
Batman’s LOVE SCENE WITH A GOAT!??!?!
WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK?
I know the word had a different connotation back then, but WTF?
“It’s important that I live the next 24 hours as a black woman!”
Hahahahaha! What the fuck?
So at one point not only did Supergirl have a super powered horse, but apparently that horse had romantic feelings for her. To be fair, Supergirl is hot, but um….
…
FUCKING EW.
Yes, that’s Bruce Wayne, and yes, he has a little floating dude in a Batman costume floating around next to him. If you feel a tugging sensation, don’t be alarmed. That’s just your brain trying to kill itself, which is the correct response.
Look at this! Seriously, this happened in an issue of Batman. It is in continuity. Thanks, Grant Morrison. What the fuck.
It took me a while to start typing this because I couldn’t stop laughing.
I imagine the discussions at DC went something like this:
“You idiots! People HATE this ‘electric’ Superman! You’ve failed me AGAIN! What are you going to do to make this right?”
“….how about if there’s two of him?”
“Are you kidding me? How is that possibly going to fix this?”
“We can make the other one red.”
“You get a raise.”
I’m aware that they did this as a sort of tribute to an older story, but seriously, look at that. What the fuck.
There are no words other than: “WHAT THE FUCK?”
Comic Zombie 